2015-07-02 13-57-23

by Tim Thompson


I think that most ‘‘activists’’ become such for one reason: to be on television.

Some idiot girl climbs a flagpole, she could have been seriously hurt by the way, to take a flag down and, all of a sudden, it’s like a new hero was born. People in the south cancelled dates with their cousins to talk about things like “oh man the south is in our blood” and “don’t tread on me” and so on. I think even Sarah Palin said something. And of course, there are no shortages of television cameras on hand to capture all these noble creatures.


“Hi! We’re the Andersons! We like to go camping, attend our kids’ sporting events, and revel in the southern tradition of keeping an entire race in check! LOOK THE FLAG MATCHES MY TOP”

What about me? Where are my cameras?? Where is my audience???  Everyone has an opinion, I understand, but why are they only showing the idiot ones? For once I would like to use my white privilege to usurp those idiots on television and let the world know what is really going on.

Here is the real deal:

There are racist people in the world.  

There are gays that can get married.

There are other religions that are not yours.

There are people who like different flags.

And here is the big one:


I realize that most of us, having grown up in a world full of ‘participant ribbons’ and ‘everyone is special’ speeches have a hard time grasping this concept.

Oh, hold on one second. I have to change my Facebook to a rainbow so no one will think I’m a bigot…

BRB!! Sorry!

I am sure Beyonce and Taylor Swift will have already written a song about all of these things by the time you read this but here are my thoughts on some of the pressing issues of the day anyway:

Confederate Flag:

So the one thing I keep coming back to is this: Why would you want a constant reminder of a war you lost?

I may be wrong but I doubt that there are any replicas of the atomic bomb on display in Hiroshima’s government buildings. Do I believe that some people believe that it is a symbol of hate? Yes. Do I believe that taking it down will finally bring an end to racism in America? Absolutely! (By the way,if you do not understand sarcasm I assume you would have stopped reading a long time ago.)

In my opinion it’s a symbol of neither pride nor hate. It’s a symbol of ‘‘ehhhhhh we weren’t as good at war as the other guys’’. Maybe instead of spending all your time standing around protesting a piece of fabric, maybe put some of that energy into fighting for education reform or bringing down unemployment. Maybe you could start a small business and create a few jobs for your town. I bet you could probably make and sell flags!  Look, if you want the Confederate Flag on your 25 year old Dodge Charger or in your yard I fully support that right. But the only flags that should be on government buildings are each states flag and the American Flag.

Oh and the flag of Bhutan because it’s super badass.


It’s either a dragon on wheels, or a dragon attempting to bring you four ripe apples. Either way, it’s a dragon.

Next time we will tackle the gays(sounds fun, right?). How does it affect your straight loveless marriage?(Not at all) And what if gay couples keep adopting kids that are prettier than the kids we are having?(We will)

Until then try not to take yourselves too seriously. See your neighbor over there? Yeah the gay Christian African kid adopting fruitcake? Be nice to him. Yes, he is probably better than you but he is still a person.