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There are many ways we choose to kill ourselves slowly; be it the foods we eat, smoking and drinking, or whoring up a storm. But the devices we interact with on the daily are just as destructive. And bloodthirsty…

#6. Earbuds Not Only Want Your Hearing, They Want Your Life


The in-ear buds included with iPods, iPhones, and many other music players have been linked to significant ear damage. The kind of hearing damage that is normally associated with the elderly is now popping up in teenagers, the result of the earphones sitting directly inside the ear canal and sending out decibel levels equal to jets and rock concerts. The sensitive nerve cells that coat your inner ear get brutally bitchslapped, and can cause hearing loss after a little over an hour. Since they don’t cover the ear, the buds also allow background sound in, causing the user to continue to crank up the volume.

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Headphones are also a significant cause of pedestrians being seriously hit by automobiles. Cases of such incidents have tripled in the last six years. Researchers examined 116 such instances, and discovered that 70 percent of them were killed.

#5. Cellphones Mangle Relationships


Just a cellphone sitting on the table during a date can ruin chances for a relationship to blossom, says a University of Essex study. Two separate tests were conducted that recreated a date setting. In some of the tests, a cellphone was placed nearby. When two partners turned the discussion towards something meaningful to them(bbooorrrrrinnnnggggggg), the presence of a cellphone led to trust levels and empathy taking a nosedive.

The phone wasn’t even in use, never rang or vibrated, but just the sight of it made people less inclined to interact, especially on a deeply emotional level.

#4. Smartphone and Computer Allergies

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As cellphones have become ubiquitous in our culture, so too have allergies related to such gadgets. Flip phones and even Blackberry phones contain nickel, which can cause facial lesions and blistering. So, you know, get an iPhone like everyone else, you unique motherfucker.

More than just the phones, people in general can develop a sort of “technology” allergy. The electromagnetic fields given off by computers, laptops, and TVs, can disturb the immune system, causing the body to treat them like an allergy, and thus causing inflammatory responses. Basically, the body has cells that react to known radiation, like sunlight and X-rays. The radiation from our gadgets can cause the same proliferation of these cells, and even deterioration of them in large doses. Our bodies can exhibit this occurrence with hypersensitivity, itching, pain, and possibly other symptoms we don’t know of yet. Scabies?

Olle Johansson, a leading researcher in this controversial field, has studied the subject exhaustively, and has found links between subjects in his native Sweden(where electromagnetic sensitivity is a real, recognized condition), and changes in the person’s skin and cells. In his country alone, over 250,000 residents report sensitivity to gadgets that give off EMF fields. They also report a multitude of fjords. Their conditions are addressed in the same way a blind or deaf person’s conditions would be. Local governments even offer to “sanitize” their homes with metal shielding.

One resident in Stockholm is so sensitive that whenever an EMF-emitting device is nearby, they can experience symptoms ranging from burning skin, to nausea and dizziness, to straight-up passing out.


Don’t worry, he’s just dead.

#3. They All Want to Murder Your Fingers and Arms


A relatively new concept, the touchscreen, has become the go-to format for most tablets and smartphones these days. But with new concepts, new problems begin creeping up with more usage. Stress injuries are popping up more and more these days; thumbs, fingers, and arms are suffering maladies that weren’t really foreseen when developing these technologies.

It isn’t just relegated to touchscreen users. People who use their thumbs for constant texting are showing frequent signs of de Quervian syndrome, which targets the tendons in that area of the hands. The small nature of the smartphone almost demands an unnatural posture from the user, which can lead to spinal issues.

The touchscreen, however, may eventually be the most silent and deadly killer of them all. There is a thing called tactile feedback. Look down from your computer screen, if you’re at your desk at work and doing nothing like you should be. (Maybe zip your pants first, though). Your keys on your computer give you tactile feedback. You press a key, it pushes down and then comes back up. It’s all good, a perfect marriage of a man and his desktop. (And unzip….)

But with our touchscreens now, there is no process like that. You’re basically tapping glass over and over. And what researchers have found, is that on average, we are pressing 8 times as hard, and with our delicate fingers, this has got to lead to some bad shit down the road.

Google's Android And Chrome Chief Sundar Pichai Holds News Event

“Har! I’m picking this guy’s nose!”

Even when we aren’t finger-blasting a virtual keyboard, we can fall victim to something called “isometric tension” when we are in the midst of typing out sentences. This is when our fingers are held out in a rigid gesture, ready to descend down onto the touchscreen. This leads to strained muscles and tendons, ensuring that one day all of humankind will be a race of busted fingers, no mouths, and massive thumbs.

#2. They Don’t Want You To Go To Bed


Gadgets with luminous back-lit displays could lead to sleep loss and deprivation, a new study says. Just a two hour exposure to such screens can suppress melatonin levels by 22 percent. This disrupts the human circadian rhythm, kind of like an inner clock, and can do damage to the human sleep cycle. Which, in turn, can lead you to be sucked into a bed and splattered onto the ceiling like Johnny Depp.


He’s still dreamy.

Normally around 9 or 10 pm, our body puts out a hormone hinting that maybe it’s time for bed. Bright light flashing in our faces near that time can throw everything out of balance, especially the blue LEDs found on many new tablets and smartphones. Blue light is especially prevalent during the daytime, and its presence only intensifies the experience of artificial alertness.

#1. Technology Addiction And Declining Human Skills


The normal everyday person today consumes 3 times as much information on the daily, compared to a human in 1960. The average Internet user browses 40 websites a day, and can switch programs 36 times per hour.

There’s no way there’s any side-effects of all of this face-fucking of information right?



Nearly 80 percent of college students in a worldwide study conducted by the University of Maryland displayed symptoms of isolation, panic, physical distress, and confusion when they shut their phones off for one single day. The study also revealed that one in five participants felt symptoms most closely related to drug withdrawal.

A separate study observed students and how long they could go on a single school-related task before they inevitably started to multitask, be it with their phones, texting, listening to music, or checking their Facebooks. They barely made it 2 minutes before they started drifting away from the original task. By the end, they had only devoted 65 percent of the total time towards their schoolwork.

Which leads to the larger problem, the addiction to the literal dopamine rush received from constant updates, and notifications pinging from one’s gadget incessantly. Dopamine levels are usually related to addiction markers. Without it, the neurological responses built up from so much input lead the user to feel bored, and unsatisfied.


As demonstrated here by Low-Dopamine Daniel.